True Story

I had an Orthopaedic review with the surgeon today to assess my "level of impairment". I was shocked to learn they weren't testing my blood-alcohol level for a "high score" -- awkward!

Instead, the surgeon concluded that my leg is indeed not growing back. I know, it surprised me too, however, he required an x-ray to confirm this little "hypothesis".

I went up to the ex-ray room and found a very surprised looking x-ray tech who managed to stammer "OH! I've never done one of YOU before!"

One of ME? Ohhh kaaay! I think at this point I said something like "Well, I AM pretty unique, thanks for noticing!" though I don't think she heard me as she flustered around clearing the x-ray table.

From there the conversation went something like this:

Tech: Sooo umm... is that like ATTACHED? Or does it come off?

Mike (staring incredulously): It comes off...

Tech: OH. So do you usually keep it on for x-rays?

Mike (laughing nervously): No, I don't think the metal or carbon fibre would photograph well and I'm pretty sure you're only interested in what's underneath it!

Tech: Yeah, that makes sense! Do you know what position to hold your... LEG? for the picture?

Mike: No I don't, sorry... maybe just shoot it like you would a normal leg?

Tech: OK, yeah! That makes sense!

I left that day feeling that we had both learned something: she learned that prosthetic limbs are NOT permanently fixed to the human body through painful bolts or magic glue.

I learned that common sense and higher reasoning is not a pre-requisite of getting into x-ray school!