True Story

I had an Orthopaedic review with the surgeon today to assess my "level of impairment". I was shocked to learn they weren't testing my blood-alcohol level for a "high score" -- awkward!

Instead, the surgeon concluded that my leg is indeed not growing back. I know, it surprised me too, however, he required an x-ray to confirm this little "hypothesis".

I went up to the ex-ray room and found a very surprised looking x-ray tech who managed to stammer "OH! I've never done one of YOU before!"

One of ME? Ohhh kaaay! I think at this point I said something like "Well, I AM pretty unique, thanks for noticing!" though I don't think she heard me as she flustered around clearing the x-ray table.

From there the conversation went something like this:

Tech: Sooo umm... is that like ATTACHED? Or does it come off?

Mike (staring incredulously): It comes off...

Tech: OH. So do you usually keep it on for x-rays?

Mike (laughing nervously): No, I don't think the metal or carbon fibre would photograph well and I'm pretty sure you're only interested in what's underneath it!

Tech: Yeah, that makes sense! Do you know what position to hold your... LEG? for the picture?

Mike: No I don't, sorry... maybe just shoot it like you would a normal leg?

Tech: OK, yeah! That makes sense!

I left that day feeling that we had both learned something: she learned that prosthetic limbs are NOT permanently fixed to the human body through painful bolts or magic glue.

I learned that common sense and higher reasoning is not a pre-requisite of getting into x-ray school!

How to Save a Bumpy Week

I don't usually like to admit to having a bad day, but sometimes you don't need to for good friends to catch on.

Today, much to my red-faced surprise and delight, these two beauties showed up to work sporting custom made shirts to ensure the week started off with a grin!

That's right, it's official, there is a fan club and they now have t-shirts! All kidding aside, I'm very lucky to have such amazing support.

With friends like these, who could stop smiling?


Krissie and Mel, the very best!
(I need a haircut)

Bratz

This email made my week!

Hey Mike,

I thought you might get a kick out of this. My daughter had her third birthday party this weekend and got a Bratz doll. Since you're probably not up on your girl toddler toys, Bratz are super popular with the under ten crowd. The doll comes with all these little designer clothes that you can change the doll in and out of.

So when I was helping Wynn change the shoes of her Bratz doll, I realized it doesn't actually have feet but what looks like a stump with a prosthetic shoe that you change. It made me think of you. Who knew that you were similar to a Bratz doll? You too would be very popular with little girls if you would consider wearing sparkled high heels or fancy tall boots. You may want to consider a career change.

Anyways, I hope all is well with you!

Kara

Working on my Apotemnophobia

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia, ironically, is the fear of long words. Perhaps even more ironic is the "short" version of that word: sesquipedalophobia.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth!
Algophobia is the fear of pain.
Deipnophobia is the fear of dinner conversation!
Anablephobia is the fear of looking up? Really?

Xanthophobics fear the colour yellow!

I'm really not sure where I'm going with this, I just thought these were really funny!

For a complete list of fears to use on your friends and family, check out: http://www.phobialist.com/

...and to all my friggaphobic friends out there, I wish you a happy Friday!